I see, feel and sense dead people, entities and beings from the astral realms. This to me has always been a natural part of who I am. I’m the person in the family that will be asked if the relative who just passed away is ok. Sensitive folk in general have these kinds of abilities if tapped into.

Those natural abilities got pushed down over my teen years due to wanting to fit into the ‘normal’ collective. I always knew I had the ability, I just didn’t know how to navigate it or how it would fit into the so-called norm.

Moving through the dark night of the soul, what I had pushed down could no longer stay that way. I lost myself in the quagmire of the collective norm. I felt invaded by multiple astral beings. It felt like I was in constant battle mode to keep them out and hold onto what was left of me. When they did come too close my primary fear beyond anything was that they would overtake my essential sense of self, and yes, my soul. If they took me over, where would I go? What would happen to me? For many, it’s ending up in a psych ward. Fortunately, as fragile as it felt, my core held out.

Today, in difference, if I ever feel a sense of something attached to me or trying to possess me, I have the experience, knowledge, support, guidance and tools to dislodge it.

I am by nature an absorber as are many empaths. One of the primary things I needed to learn was how to transmute what I had absorbed.

In shamanism, the shaman’s natural way is to absorb/ingest, transform/transmute and dispel/clear in order to heal.

Oh, how I wish I had been taught that when I was younger but in hindsight I learned through the ultimate teacher, experience.

The only way I knew to help myself back then was to retreat, to get away from everyone and as much collective stimulation as I could. I became a recluse. A lot of sensitive people do because its just so very hard to hold your own in the marketplace of humanity.

Sensitives can naturally pick up on other people’s vibrations and if not careful, merge with their disowned wounding while also getting triggered by what has been absorbed. Then the psyche swirls with so much debris that is twisted together it’s hard to tell where our own stuff is in the midst of all the feelings, images and fragments that are swishing through. At times it can feel like being in a co-dependent relationship with a bunch of astral strangers who have astral debris that you don’t even want but can’t stop absorbing.

Looking back I can see how I became so entwined with the collective mismatch but at that time it didn’t occur to me that my centre of awareness wasn’t aligned within me. How can you find ground when you are being pulled in so many different directions on a multidimensional ripcord?

As I mentioned, my main protection back in the day was retreating, closing down upon myself, folding in on myself and cutting people out, which was to my detriment, however the space, the retreating part was vital so I could save myself.

Now, there is no need to close down or fold in on myself. There are no shields to put up, no battles to fight, no armour to block things out or walls that cut people off. My sense of protection comes from my core self being more solid.

I am able to pull my centre of awareness back to myself in connection with my core and then deal with whatever shows up. I am fully responsible for anchoring my core self, in my earth suit, here on Earth.

Soul retrieval has helped immensely with that. There is more of me here in this body now, unlike when I was younger and deeply fragmented. My home is within me, and within my sanctuary is my core, my inner spark. It is safe with its medicine kin, in a landscape that the ‘I am’ aspect of me looks after. The more I retrieve the fragmented parts of me back be that via soul retrieval, recapitulation, calling back my centre of awareness etc…it all helps to to align myself with my core. My core is in an aligned connection with the source.

Important to note.

We can’t expect others to understand what goes on inside us, especially family members. And we need to stop blaming them for not being able to. They are not mind readers and may not relate to how we perceive reality. They also may be sensitive but have more armour or different coping mechanisms that may seem unkind, but that’s the only way they know to manage it. For example, people with a great deal of anxiety can get very snappy and crabby. The snappy and the crabby is their protector trying to take charge due to them feeling that things are not in their control.

We all have behaviours that disguise our wounds and we all can act out in some way in an attempt to protect those wounds. These behaviours however can make it harder to connect with our essential core self, so it is important to understand the reason why they are there and befriend them a little. Im not saying enable the behaviour, but see into it a little further to the original cause.

Medicine Exercise.

Mindfully, intentionally, take your centre of awareness down from your head (where you think/imagine) to your centre. You might like to imagine walking down from your head step by step to your centre. Once there, imagine, feel sense a small but shiny golden star from the night sky. Now inline with some nice deep breathing see, feel, and a sense that it slowly starts to expand via each breath, and keeps expanding to the point that you are now at the centre of the large expanded golden star/the source and it’s beaming its warm beautiful light throughout every cell of your being as well as shining outside your body in all directions. Be there. Drink it in. Breathe it in. Beam it out.

Instead of ‘creating’ protection due to fear, lets instead upgrade our core to shine out as the ultimate empowerment of our uniqueness.

Blessings

Odette

(c) O. Nightsky