I woke one morning in this glorious place with a feeling of imbalance. An old wound surfaced and grief walked beside it. Funny how these feelings tend to join up. I journaled my truth from the perspective of my inner teen where the source of the wound was. It left me reflecting and feeling a bit sad for the teen of the past. I felt it was her voice that needed to be expressed. If I could not distinguish between her feelings and mine as an adult, I might want to ring or write to the person I thought wronged me. I am not about to drag up the past to get someone to say sorry when they themselves were quite emotionally immature. The healing begins with me. Dont get me wrong in some situations for your own healing, telling a person that it wasn’t ok to harm you may be vital to your healing path, in this instance, I didnt feel that way. What my inner teenager needed was me. To offer her a space to feel and express. That for me is in my journal. It has been my go to place for years now and the beauty of travel is that you can take your journal with you wherever you go. My journal is my touch point and one of my best therapeutic tools. I never edit my journal or write like I think I should. If I am angry, I let it out and if I want to swear I will. My writing often tells me what state of mind I am in. Flowing and curling, Im in a balanced space, big and messy, often angry and right and then left and back again or rather small in one sentence, quite sad. I rarely if ever look back on what wrote. I might open a journal at any page over the years to see if I am still dealing with the same lesson and reflecting if I have grown from it in some way or not. All in its a great release in all ways. I write letters to people in my mind, I write about inner struggles that try to come to terms with. I also write how grateful I am for my growth and letters from and to my inner child selves when needed. Although my inner three year old is not much into writing hehe.

No matter where you are and how beautiful it is, you cant escape what needs balancing within. You carry your bags with you both physically and emotionally. Each morning I wake up pre dawn here to sit and be with the sea and the sun rising. I actively meditate by going into my sanctuary within and allowing myself to go with whatever my intuition gets pulled towards. Often what I call my inner little selves are asleep on the asian day bed in the orchard near the river with my spirit animals. Sometimes I join them and snuggle in, other times one will raise their head and want to come with me. We might hop into the wooden boat and head over across the waters outside my sanctuary perimeter to the island I created for honouring my parents. There is a cluster of standing stones in the middle of a stone circle, where we put flowers and at times will feel the presence of my parents and connect with them through my third eye heart energy. Or we might wander into the woods within my sanctuary or the mountains or the waterfall and connect with my guides for teachings and reflections I may need to learn from. This can be done in a very short time, the more one practices the easier it gets. Just be mindful to go into sanctuary and come out through the shamans tree, the same way as you go in. It helps to contain the energy of what you have nourished yourself from within.

I notice that when I am feeling sad or troubled my misophonia kicks in quite a lot, so for travel noise cancelling headphones are a must. They help me stay calm until I can fill my inner cup again and give some balance to my upset.

One of the main things that I have learned is to be mindful not to put things off that need attention from within. The habit of being addicted to suffering as a familiar friend is common in all of us. However it just tends to build up more intolerance and stress which leads to overwhelm and avoidance.

We live busy lives and even on holiday or travelling, issues will rise to be met. Its important to meet them, lean into them and give them some space and time. It doesnt take long, honestly and can offer great relief. Start writing in your journal, head into your sanctuary for a top up and free yourself from what weighs you down.

Blessings

Odette

(C) O. Nightsky